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Gritty. Dirty. Hard-core. Transformative. Funny. This is the real Sex and the City. By her late twenties, Jessica Dorfman Jones had dutifully achieved everything she thought she was supposed to: marriage, law degree, high-paying job, nice apartment in Greenwich Village. But she was miserable and felt like she was living a life that wasn't hers. Desperate to change her statu Gritty. Dirty. Hard-core. Transformative. Funny. This is the real Sex and the City. By her late twenties, Jessica Dorfman Jones had dutifully achieved everything she thought she was supposed to: marriage, law degree, high-paying job, nice apartment in Greenwich Village. But she was miserable and felt like she was living a life that wasn't hers. Desperate to change her status quo and figure out who she really was, Jessica went about the business of making a change by demolishing the life she knew. She threw her good-girl image aside and set out to unleash the very bad girl she had never before tried to be. Embracing the deliciously debauched world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, Jessica leaves behind her sweet and well-behaved husband for the ultimate bad-boy guitar player, starts her own band, and parties harder than she had ever thought possible. She starts a band, puts her job in jeopardy, and causes her friends and family no end of worry with her illicit behavior. And then, in the midst of her self-created chaos, the wildest thing of all happens. She figures out who she is, who she most definitely is not, and what might, if she's lucky, come next. Klonopin Lunch is Jessica's wickedly funny and uncensored journey down the rabbit hole and back out again, into a life that, at last, makes her truly happy.


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Gritty. Dirty. Hard-core. Transformative. Funny. This is the real Sex and the City. By her late twenties, Jessica Dorfman Jones had dutifully achieved everything she thought she was supposed to: marriage, law degree, high-paying job, nice apartment in Greenwich Village. But she was miserable and felt like she was living a life that wasn't hers. Desperate to change her statu Gritty. Dirty. Hard-core. Transformative. Funny. This is the real Sex and the City. By her late twenties, Jessica Dorfman Jones had dutifully achieved everything she thought she was supposed to: marriage, law degree, high-paying job, nice apartment in Greenwich Village. But she was miserable and felt like she was living a life that wasn't hers. Desperate to change her status quo and figure out who she really was, Jessica went about the business of making a change by demolishing the life she knew. She threw her good-girl image aside and set out to unleash the very bad girl she had never before tried to be. Embracing the deliciously debauched world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, Jessica leaves behind her sweet and well-behaved husband for the ultimate bad-boy guitar player, starts her own band, and parties harder than she had ever thought possible. She starts a band, puts her job in jeopardy, and causes her friends and family no end of worry with her illicit behavior. And then, in the midst of her self-created chaos, the wildest thing of all happens. She figures out who she is, who she most definitely is not, and what might, if she's lucky, come next. Klonopin Lunch is Jessica's wickedly funny and uncensored journey down the rabbit hole and back out again, into a life that, at last, makes her truly happy.

30 review for Klonopin Lunch: A Memoir

  1. 4 out of 5

    Christine Frank

    Wow, I . . . just can't be the first to comment on this. The only likable character in this is the author's Brooklyn loft.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Amy

    I have never ever given a one star review to any book I managed to finish - but there's a time for everything. Holy Jesus - this book is a horror show - every cliche in the book from nice girl gets turned on by bad boys to poor little rich girl. I'm pretty sure that under "shithead" in the dictionary it reads "Jessica Dorfman Jones". It's been forever since I read a slumming story by such an ignorant, privileged writer getting their kicks out of the real lives of people who are struggling with a I have never ever given a one star review to any book I managed to finish - but there's a time for everything. Holy Jesus - this book is a horror show - every cliche in the book from nice girl gets turned on by bad boys to poor little rich girl. I'm pretty sure that under "shithead" in the dictionary it reads "Jessica Dorfman Jones". It's been forever since I read a slumming story by such an ignorant, privileged writer getting their kicks out of the real lives of people who are struggling with addiction and all the problems that creates. She is the epitome of someone whose parents guide them seamlessly through life and still can't get it together but has enough extra bandwidth to mock those who have had none of the same advantages or arbitrary privilege. Disgusting. I seriously hope she gets addicted to a devastating drug and then her friends openly mock her as she fights to keep her life together and criticize her for not being sexy during rehab and recovery. The boyfriend is supposedly a loser? Seriously the only loser in the book is the author.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Bonnie

    Jessica is a prime example of everything that is wrong with America. This coming from someone even younger than she. I gave it two stars because it is decently written, but she is a destructive nightmare that ruined herself and everything in her selfish little path. Anyone who's claim to fame is authoring the book "The Art of Cheating" is not worth financially supporting. So glad I didn't spend money on this book.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Bean

    This book was actually painful to read. I finished it, hoping against hope that it would get better - but it just got worse and worse. She had a terrible view of everyone and everything around her - except herself. Though she consistently (repetitively, exhaustively) told the reader that she *knew* what she was doing was wrong, her incessant references to herself clearly indicate that her ego has not suffered much from that knowledge. This is not Sex and the City...this is a trainwreck of bad wr This book was actually painful to read. I finished it, hoping against hope that it would get better - but it just got worse and worse. She had a terrible view of everyone and everything around her - except herself. Though she consistently (repetitively, exhaustively) told the reader that she *knew* what she was doing was wrong, her incessant references to herself clearly indicate that her ego has not suffered much from that knowledge. This is not Sex and the City...this is a trainwreck of bad writing and self-indulgent snarkiness delivered ten years after a not-that-interesting affair. She did nothing to indicate that she had given her poor choices a single moment of contemplation since then. Oh, you dumped your wonderful husband and kissed a great career goodby so you could do cocaine, play in a wannabe band and have sex with a man that you clearly did not think was nearly good enough for you? And then you wrote a mediocre book about it? Wow. Most people would pick themselves up from this series of crappy life choices, get on with life, and condense it down to a quick one-liner at cocktail parties, "Oh sure, I had my Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll moment - who hasn't? So glad that was over and done with before Facebook!" Nuff said. Do a kindness and save a tree the embarrassment of ending up a copy of Klonopin Lunch.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Rachael

    Im not even halfway in and i hate this woman. She's catty, repetitive, and tries too hard. Her "wild foray" into a "rock n roll " lifestyle is boring and relatively tame. She has nothing good to say about any of the people that surround her, and is never insightful about herself or her situation. This is a self-indulgent book that reads like a blog. She must know somebody in the publishing industry, because I don't know how else this crap would have gotten published (perhaps her rich parents pai Im not even halfway in and i hate this woman. She's catty, repetitive, and tries too hard. Her "wild foray" into a "rock n roll " lifestyle is boring and relatively tame. She has nothing good to say about any of the people that surround her, and is never insightful about herself or her situation. This is a self-indulgent book that reads like a blog. She must know somebody in the publishing industry, because I don't know how else this crap would have gotten published (perhaps her rich parents paid up?).

  6. 4 out of 5

    Tima

    Note: I've received this ARC in free eBook form from NetGalley. This book will be published on 17 July 2012 for your edited reading pleasure. First Impression: Truly irks me when an author starts a book with the word 'And'. *eyes book suspiciously* It also. Really is bothersome. When an author seems completely enthralled with. Short. Sentences. To make a point. In every paragraph. Like. Ms. Jones does. *pulls out eraser to fix* Second impression: Halfway through the book and it's so blasé that I k Note: I've received this ARC in free eBook form from NetGalley. This book will be published on 17 July 2012 for your edited reading pleasure. First Impression: Truly irks me when an author starts a book with the word 'And'. *eyes book suspiciously* It also. Really is bothersome. When an author seems completely enthralled with. Short. Sentences. To make a point. In every paragraph. Like. Ms. Jones does. *pulls out eraser to fix* Second impression: Halfway through the book and it's so blasé that I keep refreshing the Goodreads homepage in hopes to find a more exciting thing to read. There is a chapter in which she says the phrase, "Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll" so many times, that she eventually just abbreviates it as, "S, D, and R 'n' R. She starts the paragraph out with a lowercase word "sex"; which I thought was just an error of the ARC but she goes on to say that 'sex' is different from 'Sex' and chooses the grammatically incorrect fashion to do so. Final Impression: In the end, (view spoiler)[The author learns nothing, despite saying she does. She never has to own up to what she has done - in any real capacity. She even says that her regret was that she had tried to turn something "fun and glamorous" into a "long-term affair". Hey lady, I'm pretty sure the affair, of any length, was the problem. (hide spoiler)] The man she affaired-it-up with was playing in a band called "Love Craft" when she met him. She states that she would later find out that Love Craft was a reference to a sci-fi author and it was almost "too nerdy" for her to even keep talking to the man. How dare she insult H.P. Lovecraft! She is a very smart woman, that much is very clear. Her vocabulary was diverse without seeming forced and she had a few moments of almost making me chuckle. It bothered me that she stated, "under circumstances that are too bizarre to bother getting into.." - if you cannot include a wacky, bizarre story in your memoir, where exactly does it belong? Overall, this book was D-List. If someone offers you a free copy, I'd double-check to make sure they didn't have anything else to offer first before agreeing to take this one.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Chelsea

    The main reason I kept reading this book (besides the slight humor and incredible vocabulary) was pretty much the same reason you continue to watch Maury: I wanted to see what path she would take--who the father would be, so to speak. I did not like even one character out of the entire book. And to put it lightly, the author disgusted me. Of course, props to her for being able to air her dirty laundry, knowing she would be judged, but that doesn't change the fact that I did indeed judge her and The main reason I kept reading this book (besides the slight humor and incredible vocabulary) was pretty much the same reason you continue to watch Maury: I wanted to see what path she would take--who the father would be, so to speak. I did not like even one character out of the entire book. And to put it lightly, the author disgusted me. Of course, props to her for being able to air her dirty laundry, knowing she would be judged, but that doesn't change the fact that I did indeed judge her and yell at her a lot. I could not empathize or sympathize or live vicariously through any of the characters--they were all too messy. The ending was a bit surprising to me, but it wasn't particularly great. Although, neither were the beginning or the middle. I don't want to sound harsh, but I don't know how else to express my opinion on this book. I just really wanted the end to come as quick as possible. In fact, I thought about popping a few Klonopins myself a couple of times because my nerves were so shot from all the ruckus of the book. I'm sure some people will be able to relate even just a little to the main character, or maybe even Gideon or Andrew, but I was not and I can't say I enjoyed the book. *I received a free copy of this book from the publisher.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Kirsten McMahon

    The single most boring memoir I have ever read involving Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll. Ugh.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Cheryl

    Klonopin Lunch is one of the most candid memoirs that I have read. I applaud and appreciate Jessica for sharing her story.Honesty, I did not expect to like this book but thought I would check it out anyways. Klonopin Lunch serves up a morsel of sex, drugs, self-discovery, and some laughs and tears along the way. While I found myself immersed by Jessica and her story at the same time, I did not feel a deep connection with her. It was kind of like reading a book on the do not's on how to find your Klonopin Lunch is one of the most candid memoirs that I have read. I applaud and appreciate Jessica for sharing her story.Honesty, I did not expect to like this book but thought I would check it out anyways. Klonopin Lunch serves up a morsel of sex, drugs, self-discovery, and some laughs and tears along the way. While I found myself immersed by Jessica and her story at the same time, I did not feel a deep connection with her. It was kind of like reading a book on the do not's on how to find yourself. Step one: Do not just throw away your job. Have a back up plan. Step two: If you are going to fool around with your sexy guitar teacher than at least make sure you are single. If you are in a relationship, you are going to get caught sooner or later unless you want to get caught. Step three: Play in a rock band if you get the chance. Step four: Let loose and have fun. It is your life. Don't have regrets as each stumbling step will only make you stronger. While, I did find Jessica's story intriguing, I do admit that at times, I did grow a little bored and skimmed parts to flash forward. Someone that really amazed me was Andrew. Jessican's ex-husband. He was either a saint or naive. He had to have known that Jessica was hooking up with Gideon, her instructor. I believe that Andrew was a saint. He knew about Jessica but in his heart, he wanted to say that he did try. Although, I can not fully applaud Jessica as what she did was selfess trying to find herself but not breaking up with Andrew first. I felt that she should have let him go. She knew way before she met Gideon that their relationship was over. Gideon was like a drug for Jessica but without him like Jessica states, she may have not had the courage to try new things and experience the world in a whole new light. Klonopin Lunch is a raw look into author, Jessica Dorfman Jones's life. She holds nothing back in this book.

  10. 4 out of 5

    WTF Are You Reading?

    My Thoughts This book is proof that you can't judge a book by its cover. Even the glossiest jackets may have a few pages missing. Though the Sex, Drugs, and Rock N Roll chronicled within this drama will never reach the infamy needed to warrant VH1's probative attentions; this tale of one woman's search for herself in life's darker places is more than enough to hold any reader's attention for the 336 pages that it takes to tell her story. The most intriguing thing about the book is not the story ho My Thoughts This book is proof that you can't judge a book by its cover. Even the glossiest jackets may have a few pages missing. Though the Sex, Drugs, and Rock N Roll chronicled within this drama will never reach the infamy needed to warrant VH1's probative attentions; this tale of one woman's search for herself in life's darker places is more than enough to hold any reader's attention for the 336 pages that it takes to tell her story. The most intriguing thing about the book is not the story however. The story in and of itself is one that has been told and retold through the ages. Good girl + boredom + bad boy + issues + epiphany = Home was inside you all along Dorthy! So click your heels already bitch, I'm missing "The Bad Girls Club"! The thing that makes those pages keep turning is the author's ability to be side-splittingly hilarious at what most would consider to be very inappropriate moments. Reading this book is like hanging out with your drunk aunt at the family reunion. You want to leave, but you have to stay because you don't want to miss one Jerry Springeresque moment of a night that you know won't end well. This is a book that speaks to all of the elephants in the rooms of so many relationships. Among these being: the relationships that we have with a spouse or lover, the relationships that we have with family and friends, the relationships that we have with the world at large, and the relationships that we ultimately have with ourselves. Whether you love her or hate her, you have to agree that the author's no holds barred honesty is a thing of unadorned beauty in a story about the ugly face of lies. This review is cross posted from my blog. http://wtfareyoureading.blogspot.com/...

  11. 5 out of 5

    Mrnmrsdia

    Attention whore looking for applause about giving in to the lusts and sins of life. I'd rather get crucified than support this lifestyle and the splurge of akin books to follow: if it scores success with easily influenced teens, tweens, and those that are yet to mature in their twenties+. Stay loyal to your loving wives and husbands and do what you love knowing the boundaries that separate us from shameless animals.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Gina

    I kept reading to find out what all the hoopla was about. I never found it. Lame. This chic doesn't do anything that wild. I supposed the fact she was married is the only big deal part of it. But, even then, it's a marriage of such a young couple I had a hard time taking it seriously.

  13. 5 out of 5

    k.wing

    I read this book in a little over 2 days. It reads like an extremely smart and well-written diary, and I'm a sucker for getting the privilege of being inside someone else's mind for a while. The reviews so far for this book have not been so kind. This is because Jessica, understandably, doesn't paint herself in a very good light. She almost preps you for it by laying on the self-deprecation in the first 1/4 of the book, as well as showing you the not so awesome parts of her personality. I think I read this book in a little over 2 days. It reads like an extremely smart and well-written diary, and I'm a sucker for getting the privilege of being inside someone else's mind for a while. The reviews so far for this book have not been so kind. This is because Jessica, understandably, doesn't paint herself in a very good light. She almost preps you for it by laying on the self-deprecation in the first 1/4 of the book, as well as showing you the not so awesome parts of her personality. I think this is where some of the readers stopped reading. But here's why you keep reading. There is a certain part where Jessica has a conversation with Gideon in a diner. Before that part, you get that Jessica is extremely intelligent, a little stuck up, and sometimes a bit emotional. But in that conversational scene, with no witty narrative filler, she is charming (in a quarky way). And you realize that Jessica is a real person going through this thing, and as much as culture wants to demonize cheaters, she is still a human being with feelings and longings, too. I think a lot of readers couldn't get over that she cheated, and left Andrew quietly in the dark. I, too, had visions of Andrew sitting alone in a dark living room watching Forrest Gump with a box of tissues, wondering when Jessica was going to come home to him. But that is exactly why she wrote it. Because sometimes people need to confront what they can't imagine, or what they immediately write off as terrible behavior. The Epilogue had me near-tears, because life isn't like the tv shows or movies. What you think is going to happen (doesn't this always happen?) doesn't really, and people surprise you. People who should hate you surprise you. People who should love you and be thankful for you take you for granted. Because *spoiler* Jessica finds, in the end, the one person she can depend on the most. And that's herself.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Abby

    I finished, and this convo I had with SB still stands: me: so i am reading klonopin lunch it is claptrap SarahBeth: haha me: like there are memoirs then there are self-indulgent memoirs then there is masturbation THEN there is this SarahBeth: wow that is quite a review me: it's just so self-involved she so repetitively analyzes her totally predictable self the only good thing about it is how glad it made me that i acted like i was 22 when i was 26-27 instead of when i was 30-32.* SarahBeth: you could qui I finished, and this convo I had with SB still stands: me: so i am reading klonopin lunch it is claptrap SarahBeth: haha me: like there are memoirs then there are self-indulgent memoirs then there is masturbation THEN there is this SarahBeth: wow that is quite a review me: it's just so self-involved she so repetitively analyzes her totally predictable self the only good thing about it is how glad it made me that i acted like i was 22 when i was 26-27 instead of when i was 30-32.* SarahBeth: you could quit i love quitting books me: eh, i do not SarahBeth: i've quit behind the beuatiful forevers 4 times me: it happens don't get me wrong but this one is pretty fast i admit to doing some heavy skimming through her self analysis segments SarahBeth: that's fair *I am not quite 30. Whatever. Anyway, this book makes me want to die. It is a terrible, self-indulgent waste of time, and I do not remember why it was in my library queue, I just know that it and I are almost done with each other. I hope we find out soon why Jessica's cuckold husband abided her nonstop running around like a complete fucking lunatic, because if we do not, this MAY be the worst excuse for a memoir I have ever read. BECAUSE: it is one thing to be unhappy in your relationship. It is another thing entirely to blame your husband, your hot guitar teacher, your friends, etc. for your own shitty decision-making, and then trying to pass your own shitty decision-making off as a life transformation. I am so bored of this old lady's attempt to catch up to twentysomethings, I could just throw myself out the window.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Virginia

    Name: Klonopin Lunch: A Memoir Author: Jessica Dorfman Jones ISBN: 9780307886972 Genre: Memoir Publisher: Crown Publishing Group Publication/Expected Publication: July 17, 2012 If you're living in a humdrum marriage and have ever wondered what it would be like to take a walk on the VERY WILD side, this book definitely delivers. With a husband whose understanding/indifference defies reason most of the time, the author is able to explore the world of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll with the help of her gr Name: Klonopin Lunch: A Memoir Author: Jessica Dorfman Jones ISBN: 9780307886972 Genre: Memoir Publisher: Crown Publishing Group Publication/Expected Publication: July 17, 2012 If you're living in a humdrum marriage and have ever wondered what it would be like to take a walk on the VERY WILD side, this book definitely delivers. With a husband whose understanding/indifference defies reason most of the time, the author is able to explore the world of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll with the help of her gritty guitar instructor. I think I can speak for everyone who reads this book when I say that the author, Jones, could have benefited from some therapy. Her severe mood swings throughout the book lead the reader to constantly wonder what on earth she was thinking as she began this journey. She succeeds in alienating most of her "old" friends as well as her husband and is only brought back to her senses by the most extreme of circumstances. Jones is not a sympathetic character by any stretch of the imagination; in fact, she regularly acknowledges her own "bitchiness" and stresses the saintliness of her long-suffering husband. This book is captivating in that the reader wonders just how far down the rabbit hole Jones will go before finally pulling herself out. **Please note that I did receive a free copy of this book via Netgalley.**

  16. 5 out of 5

    Mallory

    Anyone who detested this book doesn't understand Jessica. She is brutally honest. She is unabashedly brave. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone... I thoroughly enjoyed Jessica's memoir. It is an intimate look into a very volatile part of her life that most people wouldn't consider disclosing to friends and/or family, let alone strangers to judge. This is a true story about a woman finding herself. We have all felt what she has felt whether we care to admit it or not. Stuck in a state o Anyone who detested this book doesn't understand Jessica. She is brutally honest. She is unabashedly brave. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone... I thoroughly enjoyed Jessica's memoir. It is an intimate look into a very volatile part of her life that most people wouldn't consider disclosing to friends and/or family, let alone strangers to judge. This is a true story about a woman finding herself. We have all felt what she has felt whether we care to admit it or not. Stuck in a state of numbness in her marriage, she searches for an outlet. That outlet is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll. She owns up to each and every decision she makes and writes her story in great detail. To this I say, "Hell yea." She is a true rock star.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Sue

    This was a terrible book but I kept reading it to see if there were any redeeming factors at all - if there were I never found them. I found the author to be a self indulgent spoiled person who cheated on her husband and only worried about herself. If she had even spent a little time trying to analyze WHY she made the choices she did, the book might (and I say MIGHT) have been more interesting but we never got to see what went on inside her head - only the poor choices that she made.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Cynthia Gunnels

    If I could get my money and wasted reading time back I would be thrilled. This was probably the worse book that I had ever read in my entire life! I would have to say that Ms. Jones should have kept her pathetic journey to herself. It terrifies me that young girls might read this and think that all the things she did are ok!! Disgusting that someone with her school credentials would be stupid enough to make her mistakes into a book and call it anything but trash!!

  19. 5 out of 5

    Pam

    I'm sure that the Rock n roll lifestyle doesn't have to be destructive...but this memoir chronicles how the author spiraled out of control with a codependent extramarital affair and recreational drug use.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Maggie

    I never give up on things. I will watch a bad movie from start to finish. Granted, this is much easier with a film than a book, as a film takes, at most, maybe 3 hours, and a book can take you months. Anyway, it is so so rare that I give up on things, but I finally had to cave in and admit defeat for this one. I got the book for free, which, honestly, should've been an indicator of quality, but hey, I give everything a fair shot, and it's a shame it is what it is, because the cover is tremendous I never give up on things. I will watch a bad movie from start to finish. Granted, this is much easier with a film than a book, as a film takes, at most, maybe 3 hours, and a book can take you months. Anyway, it is so so rare that I give up on things, but I finally had to cave in and admit defeat for this one. I got the book for free, which, honestly, should've been an indicator of quality, but hey, I give everything a fair shot, and it's a shame it is what it is, because the cover is tremendous and the title is fantastic, but when it comes down to it, it's so tragically boring, painstakingly mundane, and I kept waiting for something, ANYTHING, to happen. It follows such paint by numbers plot points that it's hard to believe this ISN'T fiction; hitting cliche trope after cliche trope, all while adding nothing new to say about them to the mix, no personality to be found amongst the dull, uninspired "reality" of her life, and it's sad to be able to say that while I haven't done the things she claims she's done, I can still guarantee you that my life has been more enthralling than what has been put down as fact here. Certainly, "Klonopin Lunch" is a quick, easy read for middle aged women who ask for the manager and say that they hate adultery, yet all the media they consume dabbles in the subject. It brings nothing fresh to a table of already rotting meals, no new ingredients or flavors, just the same awful taste of poor decisions being made, and all while openly admitting she knows she shouldn't be making them, swearing up and down that she cares about those around her who are being affected by these decisions. But we find this irrefutably false, due to her actions and her decision to continue acting on those actions. I've always said you can tell the same story, use the same tropes, as long as you make it your own or do something new with it, but this story, this exact story, has been told time and time again, and so often so much better. It's such a well known, obvious plot that anyone, honestly, could sit down and write it. It leads me to wonder how the author must feel, knowing her life is nothing more than a continually remade romantic comedy for privileged wine drunk suburban moms. How sad a reality to live, knowing your existence is nothing more, in essence, than just another lead role in a direct to DVD flop in your local bargain bin. I try so hard to be open minded when it comes to media. Media has given me so much, and I am an artist/writer myself, that I often feel that even when I come across things I don't really like or think are that great, like Curtis Sittenfelds "Sisterland", that I still manage to give it the benefit of the doubt and find what little positivity I can in it. That cannot be said for a book like this. A few months ago, I gave up on another book, this one by Laura Zigman, titled "Animal Husbandry", and the parallels between the writing of both these books astounds me. Each go on for pages and pages at a time, all about how attractive a certain new man they've met is. In "Animal Husbandry", the man is the one who's taken, and in "Klonopin Lunch", the author is the one who's taken, but the parallels are still there. 75 pages of this was just her describing how hot her guitar teacher was, and at some points, I almost threw down the book in frustration and screamed to the heavens, "I GET IT. YOU'RE A SEXUALLY ACTIVE ADULT WOMAN. GET FUCKING ON WITH IT." Look, I try so hard not to be harsh. I really really do, but sometimes things just rub me the wrong damn way and this one rubbed me not just the wrong damn way, but up the wrong street being dragged behind the car by the bumper without any protective gear, alright? I would never want to discourage someone from not wanting to better themselves as an author, and she obviously knows how to write, it's just that everything she's writing is boring and uninteresting. I would love to see if she put out a piece of fiction now, and see how she's grown. I think she has potential, unlikable as she may be in this story, I really do, and I wanna see that potential reached. But I'm certainly not gonna wait around for 300 pages to see if she reaches anything remotely close to readable. I'm 29, my time is too valuable now and I respect myself enough to no longer trudge through a book that is giving me nothing in return.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Katey

    I don't really know where to begin. I'm amazed that someone has the stones to write such a memoir that is so unwaveringly unflattering. Jessica does turn a nice phrase, however. I enjoyed more than a few well-crafted sentences and found myself looking up definitions for more than a few words. But wow, is she unlikeable. As is her husband. As is Gideon. As are the absolute rest of the characters mentioned, with the possible exceptions of CC and Lydia. If I pretended this was fiction and didn't act I don't really know where to begin. I'm amazed that someone has the stones to write such a memoir that is so unwaveringly unflattering. Jessica does turn a nice phrase, however. I enjoyed more than a few well-crafted sentences and found myself looking up definitions for more than a few words. But wow, is she unlikeable. As is her husband. As is Gideon. As are the absolute rest of the characters mentioned, with the possible exceptions of CC and Lydia. If I pretended this was fiction and didn't actually represent real life, or a tiny sliver or it, I could enjoy it more.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Kali

    despite its title, this isn't about benzodiazepine addiction. i can't really judge books like this, as i'm not sure i agree with them as a thing, and i thought about not giving it a rating at all. do i applaud the author for writing in a brutally honest way about her experience, which isn't something that remarkable, but just a series of bad choices made surrounding a guy and a desire to be cool and play in a band? i'm not sure. i think there is something admirable about wanting to share your st despite its title, this isn't about benzodiazepine addiction. i can't really judge books like this, as i'm not sure i agree with them as a thing, and i thought about not giving it a rating at all. do i applaud the author for writing in a brutally honest way about her experience, which isn't something that remarkable, but just a series of bad choices made surrounding a guy and a desire to be cool and play in a band? i'm not sure. i think there is something admirable about wanting to share your story, but something alarming about thinking that story needs to be shared with such little insight and such little acknowledgement of the privilege surrounding the entire debacle. i think i'm so hard on this book because so much of it resonated with me--this is a woman i can relate to, as she made a series of bad choices that left her in bizarrely awkward situations, but because of her (implied) upper middle class upbringing and good looks she coasts by without too many consequences or too much grief. this is magazine-worthy, but maybe not memoir-worthy, the first part of the book, where jones focused more on the choice to have an affair with her guitar teacher, was equal parts juicy and analytical. where it lost me was in its focus on band stuff and bad boy behavior, rather than on the dysfunction of the relationship she still had with her husband. it would make sense that this is where the book gets lost as this is the part of the book in which jones herself gets lost--she leaves her normal life to become a girl in a band, and as she describes that scene as if it matters, because it did matter to her at the time, there's a missing piece of why this was an important thing to her. i think this is the danger with memoirs, as too much self-knowledge appears to be indulgent, and too little self-analyzation appears trite and flippant. i do think one of the main dangers of drug and alcohol abuse memoirs is that drug and alcohol abuse isn't that exciting or memorable, as this memoir reveals. there is a lot of getting messy in bars, a lot of time spent in bathrooms, a lot of not being able to sleep due to grief or adrenaline. i'm not sure any of that is really exciting enough to write about or assume people want to read about. i think its how you live before the drugs and alcohol find you, what made you susceptible to falling into their trap, and how you survive after them, without that crutch to rely on, that makes up the true story.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Helen

    I don't read memoirs, particularly those by women, very often. Mostly because I find that most female memoirists walk around the point and do so much navel gazing and blaming others that it just gets boring. Plus, they rarely tell us about the nitty gritty about what was ACTUALLY going on in their head when they did (at least what the consider) very bad things - which to me is the whole point of reading such a book. The opposite happens in this memoir. Laugh out loud funny, cringe-worthy, and hea I don't read memoirs, particularly those by women, very often. Mostly because I find that most female memoirists walk around the point and do so much navel gazing and blaming others that it just gets boring. Plus, they rarely tell us about the nitty gritty about what was ACTUALLY going on in their head when they did (at least what the consider) very bad things - which to me is the whole point of reading such a book. The opposite happens in this memoir. Laugh out loud funny, cringe-worthy, and heartbreaking all at the same time, Jones manages to actually tell us what happens when a female makes bad decisions and the WHY behind them. She's conscious of her bad decisions and doesn't try to justify them in any way. In an unapologetic and balls-to-the-wall kind of way, she doesn't blame anyone except herself for her circumstances and manages, somehow, to slowly creep out the other side after a whole lotta craziness that makes me constantly go "WTF?" The writing is amazing - it reads like a conversation with the author and manages to be a quick read without taking away the literary value (which happens so often with quick reads). It's dirty and hot without being gross which is VERY important. The most amazing, and sweetest, thing to me was that after everything (her bad behavior and his indifference) Jessica and Andrew were able to maintain the best part of their marriage - their friendship. At the end of everything, the ability of both people to end their marriage and maintain a friendship is a very special thing and speaks to the people they were and continue to be. Finally, I'll finish my review by saying this - if more women were as honest about their own shit as Jones is, I'd probably have more female friends. It is important to note that this author is a very good friend of mine - in fact, she's one of my closest friends - but I wouldn't have written a review like this if everything I said wasn't true.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Elizabeth Moeller

    I really enjoyed this book, but that's likely because I have been dealing with a situation in my own life that in many ways mirrored what the author was experiencing. In this book the author relates the story of how she came to realize that once she had the life she thought she always wanted, she realized that she wasn't happy and wanted something more or different. At the beginning, she is working at a failing internet start up and married to her college sweetheart who is kind and loving but al I really enjoyed this book, but that's likely because I have been dealing with a situation in my own life that in many ways mirrored what the author was experiencing. In this book the author relates the story of how she came to realize that once she had the life she thought she always wanted, she realized that she wasn't happy and wanted something more or different. At the beginning, she is working at a failing internet start up and married to her college sweetheart who is kind and loving but also in many ways completely emotionally disconnected from the marriage. When the author begins taking guitar lessons she starts an affair with the teacher, who is a walking '70s flashback complete with tight pants, a band and a raging cocaine problem. In addition to the affair, the author, who soon loses her job after the company she works for goes under, explores the lifestyle that goes with the man by forming her own band, dressing in various combinations of leather and experimenting with various substances. My own experience was not nearly as extreme as the author's, but I can identify with the feeling of being in a safe, loving relationship that ultimately just doesn't feel right anymore. Because of this, I appreciated the pages and pages of the author dithering about what decisions she should make in her life. However, I could see that if someone was not in the same place emotionally the endless self-analysis could get tiresome. One thing I really enjoyed about this book was the author's willingness to be unlikable. At times she treats her husband terribly and she doesn't shy away from acknowledging the fact that she was the bad guy. I liked that she didn't try to smooth her edges or shy away from the fact that many of her actions were selfish in that she was seeking the path that would make her happy.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Sarah

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Oh Jessica Dorfman Jones, how your ego needs a reality check. You've certainly gone above and beyond in showing off what you gained from your overpriced liberal arts degree and unused law degree: the use of unnecessary pretentious vocabulary. Calm down, this is a memoir marketed as a light and fun read. The cover and title are both disappointing and misleading. Not sure which generation you're trying to appeal to, but news flash, 'klonopin lunch' refers to just popping a pill for lunch. The fact Oh Jessica Dorfman Jones, how your ego needs a reality check. You've certainly gone above and beyond in showing off what you gained from your overpriced liberal arts degree and unused law degree: the use of unnecessary pretentious vocabulary. Calm down, this is a memoir marketed as a light and fun read. The cover and title are both disappointing and misleading. Not sure which generation you're trying to appeal to, but news flash, 'klonopin lunch' refers to just popping a pill for lunch. The fact that you stated what crazy sex you and Gideon had, but then wouldn't try anal sex is a testament to the likelihood that the sex you were having probably just involved positions other than those of the traditional married sex variety. You blamed your husband for being passive throughout the memoir and then proceeded to not only run back to him after you cheated on him, but then shove your affair even further down his throat by writing a memoir about it. So I'm assuming you just deciding that being with someone that you considered passive was better than being alone at 32? I really would have respected you more had you had the balls to start a new life by yourself, and go after a guy that had the qualities that you really wanted. Yes you got married too young, but that's no excuse to cheat on your husband for 2 years. Being a JAP with great expectations must've been hard, so cheating on him was a huge thrill, I'm sure. Poor little rich girl needs to experience the world at someone else's expense. I will say that as a fellow neurotic, liberal arts degree owning Jew, I did appreciate the level of psychoanalysis on yourself. The effort you put into addressing your alter ego and trying to get ahead of what the reader could be thinking was great. I just don't like you or your attempt at a "crazy" and selfish story.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Crown Publishing

    Gritty. Dirty. Hard-core. Transformative. Funny. This is the real Sex and the City. By her late twenties, Jessica Dorfman Jones had dutifully achieved everything she thought she was supposed to: marriage, law degree, high-paying job, nice apartment in Greenwich Village. But she was miserable and felt like she was living a life that wasn't hers. Desperate to change her status quo and figure out who she really was, Jessica went about the business of making a change by demolishing the life she knew Gritty. Dirty. Hard-core. Transformative. Funny. This is the real Sex and the City. By her late twenties, Jessica Dorfman Jones had dutifully achieved everything she thought she was supposed to: marriage, law degree, high-paying job, nice apartment in Greenwich Village. But she was miserable and felt like she was living a life that wasn't hers. Desperate to change her status quo and figure out who she really was, Jessica went about the business of making a change by demolishing the life she knew. She threw her good-girl image aside and set out to unleash the very bad girl she had never before tried to be. Embracing the deliciously debauched world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, Jessica leaves behind her sweet and well-behaved husband for the ultimate bad-boy guitar player, starts her own band, and parties harder than she had ever thought possible. She starts a band, puts her job in jeopardy, and causes her friends and family no end of worry with her illicit behavior. And then, in the midst of her self-created chaos, the wildest thing of all happens. She figures out who she is, who she most definitely is not, and what might, if she's lucky, come next. Klonopin Lunch is Jessica’s wickedly funny and uncensored journey down the rabbit hole and back out again, into a life that, at last, makes her truly happy.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Kelli

    After skimming the reviews before I opened this book, I was pretty sure I was going to hate it and quite possibly abandon it. However, as much as I disliked the author and her choices, I was drawn in by the honesty of her writing. It's a tough spot to be in when you are in an unhappy relationship and you convince yourself that anything is better than where you are. Jones' clear writing and translation of her thought process is believable, interesting and sad. I would like to have had more explan After skimming the reviews before I opened this book, I was pretty sure I was going to hate it and quite possibly abandon it. However, as much as I disliked the author and her choices, I was drawn in by the honesty of her writing. It's a tough spot to be in when you are in an unhappy relationship and you convince yourself that anything is better than where you are. Jones' clear writing and translation of her thought process is believable, interesting and sad. I would like to have had more explanation as to how she interacted with her husband during her most absent times and I think some of the details about the rock band could have been sacrificed for that. Otherwise, as abysmal as the story itself is,it's something that happens all the time and it's interesting to get some insight on the inner workings of someone who decides to act 100% in their own self interest at the cost of the feelings of everyone around them. Again, Jones is not likable but her honesty makes this an interesting read.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Lisa

    I nearly gave up on this book, but the story got more interesting for me after about 120 pages. I identified with some of the author's experiences, having, in my misspent youth, spent time flirting with a guitar instructor and partying in college. Eventually what kept me reading, though, was a morbid fascination with Dorfman Jones's toxic behavior and unsavory character, and her humor. Perhaps we are all capable of similar awfulness and she's just bold enough to put it out there, warts and all. I nearly gave up on this book, but the story got more interesting for me after about 120 pages. I identified with some of the author's experiences, having, in my misspent youth, spent time flirting with a guitar instructor and partying in college. Eventually what kept me reading, though, was a morbid fascination with Dorfman Jones's toxic behavior and unsavory character, and her humor. Perhaps we are all capable of similar awfulness and she's just bold enough to put it out there, warts and all. I kept wavering between being put off by her condescension to most people and her selfishness, and empathizing with her evident insecurity. And is she kidding about calling out her boyfriend for his tacky, insolent and careless behavior? Finally, the sex parts and repeated mention of bodily fluids are just icky.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Betsy

    having met the author by chance on a sunday afternoon in central park, i was instantly excited to read this book. i personally wish there was a 3.5 stars rating that I could give, as it was better than just three stars, but not quite to my 4 stars range. i felt like i was reading a book that my friend had written - actually, more like a book that my friends and i had spoken. her language was dead on for how people really talk, which i enjoyed. i just wish the band hadn't been such a large part of having met the author by chance on a sunday afternoon in central park, i was instantly excited to read this book. i personally wish there was a 3.5 stars rating that I could give, as it was better than just three stars, but not quite to my 4 stars range. i felt like i was reading a book that my friend had written - actually, more like a book that my friends and i had spoken. her language was dead on for how people really talk, which i enjoyed. i just wish the band hadn't been such a large part of the book, as i felt the personal struggle and relationship with gideon were the best parts, because they were the truest parts. had it not been for the focus on trying to get the band going - which i'm sure was a very large part of her experience - this maybe have gotten the bump to full 4 stars from me.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Meg

    I won this book in a Goodreads Giveaway. This memoir is a sneak peak into the raw and gritty reality of Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll, as well as the journey of a woman finding out who she can be on her own. Jones is not shy at all about putting it all out there. Her ever spiralling downward affair with Gideon, her drug use, and her struggle to find a life she's excited about and happy living. To do so, she must first hit rock bottom. It was painful watching her sink ever downwards and continue to I won this book in a Goodreads Giveaway. This memoir is a sneak peak into the raw and gritty reality of Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll, as well as the journey of a woman finding out who she can be on her own. Jones is not shy at all about putting it all out there. Her ever spiralling downward affair with Gideon, her drug use, and her struggle to find a life she's excited about and happy living. To do so, she must first hit rock bottom. It was painful watching her sink ever downwards and continue to return to Gideon over and over as her husband Andrew and her friends waited in the wings. In the end, she was able to come full circle and pull herself back up and make a life on her own. This book was definitely a good read and one I couldn't put down as I whipped through it in a day.

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