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How to Be a Christian Without Going to Church: The Unofficial Guide to Alternative Forms of Christian Community

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As many--young people especially--leave the traditional church in droves, they often still long for a genuine Christian community in which to practice their faith and share their spiritual journeys with others. They want to be faithful but struggle to find a place where they flourish. Whether they've already left the church behind or are merely considering it, readers will As many--young people especially--leave the traditional church in droves, they often still long for a genuine Christian community in which to practice their faith and share their spiritual journeys with others. They want to be faithful but struggle to find a place where they flourish. Whether they've already left the church behind or are merely considering it, readers will find here both heartfelt encouragement and practical steps for finding or creating a community of faith that honors God and offers rest, love, and communion with other believers. Author Kelly Bean broadens our definition of church to include many alternative forms of Christian community. With true stories of those who have given up on church and what they're doing now, this book is also helpful for pastors and churchgoers to help them understand why people leave the church--and what might be done to help them stay.


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As many--young people especially--leave the traditional church in droves, they often still long for a genuine Christian community in which to practice their faith and share their spiritual journeys with others. They want to be faithful but struggle to find a place where they flourish. Whether they've already left the church behind or are merely considering it, readers will As many--young people especially--leave the traditional church in droves, they often still long for a genuine Christian community in which to practice their faith and share their spiritual journeys with others. They want to be faithful but struggle to find a place where they flourish. Whether they've already left the church behind or are merely considering it, readers will find here both heartfelt encouragement and practical steps for finding or creating a community of faith that honors God and offers rest, love, and communion with other believers. Author Kelly Bean broadens our definition of church to include many alternative forms of Christian community. With true stories of those who have given up on church and what they're doing now, this book is also helpful for pastors and churchgoers to help them understand why people leave the church--and what might be done to help them stay.

30 review for How to Be a Christian Without Going to Church: The Unofficial Guide to Alternative Forms of Christian Community

  1. 5 out of 5

    Rebecca

    (Nearly 3.5) As a “faithful non-goer” myself, I was intrigued to read about ways of expressing Christian faith without stepping into a church. Increasingly, ‘spiritual but not religious’ folk are accepting that church isn’t something you go and do, but something you are, collectively. There are lots of interesting ideas here for being church, ranging from Beer and Hymns and other pub-style gatherings to short-term African service trips and events aimed at the homeless and the hurting in one’s ow (Nearly 3.5) As a “faithful non-goer” myself, I was intrigued to read about ways of expressing Christian faith without stepping into a church. Increasingly, ‘spiritual but not religious’ folk are accepting that church isn’t something you go and do, but something you are, collectively. There are lots of interesting ideas here for being church, ranging from Beer and Hymns and other pub-style gatherings to short-term African service trips and events aimed at the homeless and the hurting in one’s own neighborhood. Plotting out your own personal constellation of mentors and mentees can stand in for the church hierarchy in your spiritual development. I was particularly interested in Bean’s ideals of radical hospitality and intentional community. By radical hospitality, she means having people live with you: she and her husband have had 34 live-in guests over the years. Intentional communities are Christian communes that pool resources and possessions; they may sound wonderful, but Bean presents anecdotes of ones that have worked and ones that haven’t. We can learn from stories of failure, too – which is why I appreciate her honesty in sharing ways she has struggled as a lay leader. She and her husband, both self-employed, nearly went under during the financial crisis of 2008, and both their daughters struggled with drug abuse. (How refreshing it is to see a Christian admit publicly to not being perfect.) The book is not particularly compelling in style: it’s clear Bean is a practical theologian rather than a born writer, and at times she relies too heavily on others’ ideas and words (Alan Jamieson, Leonard Sweet, Brian McLaren, Richard Rohr, Phyllis Tickle and Shane Claiborne, among others). I would also mention, as a caveat, that the author is based in Portland, Oregon, a place that is surely more enlightened and seeker-friendly than many regions of the United States. In other words, it’s probably easy to be a Christian without church there, whereas in the Bible Belt it could be much more of a challenge. So others may have to look harder for such alternative communities, or start their own movements – in which case, they’ll find plenty of tips here.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Andrew

    The title is deliberately provocative. This is not one of those 'I'm spiritual, but not religious' brands of trendy isolationism. That is both the strength and weakness of this book. Bean argues at length and in as clearly stated terms as possible that she is not arguing for a Christianity divorced from the church. 'Going to church' is strongly distinguished from 'being the church'. Additionally, her commitment to 2,000 years of history, doctrine, and tradition is the very thing that allows her t The title is deliberately provocative. This is not one of those 'I'm spiritual, but not religious' brands of trendy isolationism. That is both the strength and weakness of this book. Bean argues at length and in as clearly stated terms as possible that she is not arguing for a Christianity divorced from the church. 'Going to church' is strongly distinguished from 'being the church'. Additionally, her commitment to 2,000 years of history, doctrine, and tradition is the very thing that allows her to question, critique, explore, and wonder about what it means (and could mean) to be the church without abandoning it altogether. The weakness is the evident need to over-emphasise the above point in terms of discussing community life and social action. The book does not at all exclude, but is weak in its discussion of spiritual formation, sacraments, the genuine place within Christian spirituality for solitude, etc. Perhaps the weakest point was the brief discussion regarding baptism and the Eucharist: I didn't think the author satisfactorily dealt with the question (although I give her credit for raising it) of how non-goers could practice the sacraments apart from the context of the visible church. Granted, though, I have a rather high view of the sacraments and am critiquing from that perspective. Overall, however, I appreciated the book very much and it's worth a read, whatever your relationship to the church might be. I think the author genuinely has something very worthwhile to offer anyone willing to give it a chance -- be you a pastor, theologian, committed layperson, or struggling non-goer.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Judy D Collins

    A special thank you to Baker Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Kelly Bean’s HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN WITHOUT GOING TO CHURCH, is extremely informative and insightful for anyone currently attending church, or for those who are interested in alternative ways of worship. First, this book is not about the flaws of the traditional church or the pain it can inflict. Those who have lived long in church realize plenty of difficult stories could be told as well as plenty of stor A special thank you to Baker Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Kelly Bean’s HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN WITHOUT GOING TO CHURCH, is extremely informative and insightful for anyone currently attending church, or for those who are interested in alternative ways of worship. First, this book is not about the flaws of the traditional church or the pain it can inflict. Those who have lived long in church realize plenty of difficult stories could be told as well as plenty of stories of love, care, compassion, commitment, and community. This book is about those times when, attending organized church does not work. People may not participate in church for a season, or even for the long haul for numerous reasons. Change happens, like it or not, and currently change is happening in our churches. Longtime members are leaving church and many young people have little interest in church. Fewer than 22% of Americans attend a worship service each week. There is a rise in churchless Christians, as high as 112 million. The church has a whole has been declining in attendance over the last fifty years. The steady stream of departures is not limited to mainline Protestant congregations. The Southern Baptist church, the nation’s second largest denomination and a long reliable generator of church growth, reported membership decline for the third consecutive year. Small Groups Many churches (especially the larger ones), hold small groups within the church in order to offer a more intimate setting and outreach. As the book indicates, 24.5% of Americans now say their primary form of spiritual nourishment is meeting with a small group of 20 or less people each week. More importantly, six million people in the US attend a small group, and never or rarely go to church. There is a significant movement happening! HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN WITHOUT GOING TO CHURCH, is written for a broad audience, no matter the religion or denomination. Kelly has tons of experience, research, facts, and testimonials from a diverse group of people—those who genuinely care about their faith; however, may not attend church regularly. Some people become disconnected over time with church. Some feel God is so much larger than the limitations, politics, and theology represented by the church. It is worth noting that God can use discontentment, partnered with prayer and exploration to usher in change— more than one might expect. The power and influence of rapidly changing technology shapes us in ways nothing ever has before. Never before have people been so interconnected across the planet and across belief systems. Never before have we had access to so much information instantly available at our fingertips. The significance of this unprecedented shift in history cannot be underestimated. For non-goers, technological advances open up potential for new communities and connections that didn’t even exist twenty years ago. Clearly the shifts we are experiencing cannot be dismissed as just another round of the next generation and its latest passing trends. Some non-goers and even pastors of small churches are beginning to think that bi-vocational ministry may be the way of future. For people who want to be in touch with their neighbors rather than confined to working within the walls of a church, finding a job that puts them in touch with people is a solution. Many non-goers are leaving the institutional church in hopes of finding something more than what the structures in which they had been a part could provide or allow—they are cultivating relationships with intention. Presently, both the internet and a greater sense of global community bring a new set of considerations to the table. The internet can be used to find and get to know new friends, network with people who have common interests, share prayer requests, communicate and learn from people of other faiths, share, and get ideas for mission or problem solving, encourage people who are isolated, spark revolutions, raise funds, or help a friend with cancer, those who need legal fees, or a neighbor in need, learn of a new book, or find out when and where a speaker is coming to town, or learn of meet ups, small groups, other avenues non-goers wouldn’t have met otherwise. For those who are being Christian without going to church, the Internet throws the door wide open for creating new types of community of faith and practice! Used well, the internet and social media hold the potential for moving us far beyond communication to real connection with others! Even though I am a Christian and church member, I loved this book, as enjoy the small groups. We all need to seek ways to reach people and be open to avenues outside of the church walls. Becoming a non-goer does not have to lead to waning faith or cynicism, but instead can lead to a life-giving, world-changing, growth-inducing, and community building way of being. Kelly Bean has put together many ideas, projects, and stories of those committed to worship. God has been at work through both good times and difficult times. Life as a non-goer calls on our courage and creativity. As she states, you have to reach and try, find, and connect, risk and learn! From a leader in church and non-goer, Bean takes you on her journey as she explores the non-goer phenomenon. She is a storyteller and writer, an activist, and a practitioner. “Churches and non-goers alike are called to a life of being church. It’s worth repeating, no matter where we are, we who choose to follow Christ are each called to urge one another on to love and good deeds and to be church.“

  4. 4 out of 5

    Kari

    This book addresses one of the realities of modern church: there are many people who are believers but who no longer see traditional church as a priority. I should say that some of the most faithful Christians in my life are not regular churchgoers, so it was not difficult to convince me that there are other options than showing up in nice clothes at 11:00 on Sunday morning. Bean writes about other ways that practices and faith are possible even without Sunday morning services and Wednesday nigh This book addresses one of the realities of modern church: there are many people who are believers but who no longer see traditional church as a priority. I should say that some of the most faithful Christians in my life are not regular churchgoers, so it was not difficult to convince me that there are other options than showing up in nice clothes at 11:00 on Sunday morning. Bean writes about other ways that practices and faith are possible even without Sunday morning services and Wednesday night Bible studies. These are not necessarily mind blowing things – home services, gathering for meals, and serving your community are not new ideas, but I appreciated how she framed them as opportunities for connection and spiritual growth. I was also challenged to consider how much I compartmentalize my church life because I can easily return to it every Sunday rather than letting it be a natural outpouring of my daily life. One of my strongest objections to the book as I was reading it is that the author had experienced a certain amount of privilege in the ways that she experienced “church” even as a nongoer (her term). For example, they had a home large enough to house people who needed it and money and food enough to share as well as time to give. I was impressed with how she addressed this at the end of the book after experiencing some financial setbacks within her family. I think How to be a Christian Without Going to Church addresses issues of vulnerability and authenticity (even though those are kind of cliches) that many people feel when it comes to living out their faith. It’s a good read even if you are comfortable with your church attendance because it offers so many practical suggestions for connecting with those around you. Even though it turns out that I am probably a church girl, I enjoyed reading this book and having the opportunity to figure that out for myself.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Mike Steinborn

    Thought-provoking. As I read this book, I was struck by the fact that this phenomenon appears to be very much in line with Alvin Toffler's proposition in "The Third Wave" that our western society is undergoing a significant paradigm shift on a scale similar to that of the Industrial Revolution several centuries ago, and more specifically in line with Brian McLaren's proposal in "A New Kind of Christian" where he outlines a corresponding paradigm shift going on in the Christian world comparable to Thought-provoking. As I read this book, I was struck by the fact that this phenomenon appears to be very much in line with Alvin Toffler's proposition in "The Third Wave" that our western society is undergoing a significant paradigm shift on a scale similar to that of the Industrial Revolution several centuries ago, and more specifically in line with Brian McLaren's proposal in "A New Kind of Christian" where he outlines a corresponding paradigm shift going on in the Christian world comparable to that of the Reformation several centuries ago. Both suggest that new forms, structures, and practices will arise that will barely be recognizable to current and previous generations, much as the form of urban civilization spawned by the Industrial Revolution was hugely different from the agricultural society that preceded it, and much as post-Reformation Christianity was different from pre-Reformation Christianity. McLaren contends that pre-Reformation Christians would call into question whether or not post-Reformation Christians were even true Christians. I suspect many of the current generation of Christians would view those practicing some of the alternative forms as described in Bean's book with the same eye. I'll be interested to see what happens next...

  6. 4 out of 5

    Sharon Heaverly Machuga French

    I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads. This book offers many reasons why people are leaving the Church in record numbers. For those people who are believers yet find that Church is not a comfortable place to be, this book offers many ways in which Christians can still be part of a church community and yet not go to Church in the ways in which we commonly think. It reminds me of a similar saying, "Don't just go to Church, Be the Church." As I still am quite comfortable attendi I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads. This book offers many reasons why people are leaving the Church in record numbers. For those people who are believers yet find that Church is not a comfortable place to be, this book offers many ways in which Christians can still be part of a church community and yet not go to Church in the ways in which we commonly think. It reminds me of a similar saying, "Don't just go to Church, Be the Church." As I still am quite comfortable attending the physical Church, I found some ideas in the book somewhat disturbing. However, there are many constructive ways to expand on that same saying, "Don't just go to Church, Be the Church." For the most part I found the book to open my mind a bit more and to allow me to consider other ways of expanding on my Christianity. I would definitely recommend this book to those believers who do not attend the typical Church.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Joan

    I was really encouraged by this book. The statistics of people leaving the church can be depressing. Bean has shown us that people that, even though people leave the church, they do not leave their faith. She gives many examples of faith expression outside of the traditional church. I wish there would have been some great clearing house where an intentional faith community could be found, for those looking. it seems that non-goers must get out of their comfort zone and establish their own expres I was really encouraged by this book. The statistics of people leaving the church can be depressing. Bean has shown us that people that, even though people leave the church, they do not leave their faith. She gives many examples of faith expression outside of the traditional church. I wish there would have been some great clearing house where an intentional faith community could be found, for those looking. it seems that non-goers must get out of their comfort zone and establish their own expression of faith. See my full review at http://bit.ly/1txkoGe. I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Courtney

    This book is amazing. Kelly Beam discusses being a Christian without going to church but at the same time not denying the importance of the church an would hate a world without churches. I love how she focuses on her story and why she left the church community and why others left may have not been for the same reasons. They never once said their faith was shaken but felt like concept of "church" was no longer for them. They still pray, do bible studies, and even meet in small groups. I feel like This book is amazing. Kelly Beam discusses being a Christian without going to church but at the same time not denying the importance of the church an would hate a world without churches. I love how she focuses on her story and why she left the church community and why others left may have not been for the same reasons. They never once said their faith was shaken but felt like concept of "church" was no longer for them. They still pray, do bible studies, and even meet in small groups. I feel like in many ways these people truly understand what it means to be a Christian. Whether you are a church goer or not I think this a good read.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Leigh Kramer

    Interesting look at the increasing numbers of people who no longer go to church but still claim Christianity for themselves. Bean provides a number of stories and examples (albeit predominantly based in Portland, where she lives), focusing on how people experience faith and even church outside church walls. She also focuses on radical hospitality and intentional communities and these sections would have benefited from more suggestions when your budget, time, city of residence cannot afford these Interesting look at the increasing numbers of people who no longer go to church but still claim Christianity for themselves. Bean provides a number of stories and examples (albeit predominantly based in Portland, where she lives), focusing on how people experience faith and even church outside church walls. She also focuses on radical hospitality and intentional communities and these sections would have benefited from more suggestions when your budget, time, city of residence cannot afford these opportunities. Still, I appreciated her exploration of the topic.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Scott Carter

    Off at the very core of the book. The title is wrong and is more focused on either why to begin your own church or worship God your own way. The stories need to be read to understand the experience of many, but Bean's focus is wrong. Her understanding of "church" is limited to the Greek "ekklesia", but she never makes reference to the numerous connections the NT makes to the body of Christ and his people (Col. 1:18, 24; 2:19; Eph. 5:23, etc.). What Bean essentially does is replace the Christ ins Off at the very core of the book. The title is wrong and is more focused on either why to begin your own church or worship God your own way. The stories need to be read to understand the experience of many, but Bean's focus is wrong. Her understanding of "church" is limited to the Greek "ekklesia", but she never makes reference to the numerous connections the NT makes to the body of Christ and his people (Col. 1:18, 24; 2:19; Eph. 5:23, etc.). What Bean essentially does is replace the Christ instituted plan for redeeming his people. Because it focuses outwardly on the "visible church" it fails to provide a wholistic approach to the bride of Christ and verges on (if not completely crosses over) the line between Christianity and groups that gather for vague spiritual purposes. With the growth of non-goers, what has been substituted is the commanded (by God) worship of himself. Unfortunately, Bean falls into the modern consumer movement and church has become more about "what I get out of it". The underlying principles are selfish: giving money how I want and not how God commands, leaving my church when I don't get my way instead of staying and rebuking sin where there is sin (building up the body of Christ!). Rather than trying to reform the institutional Church as the Protestant Reformers did, by bringing it back to Biblical teachings, Bean exchanges Biblical teaching for what is most comfortable. Would not recommend reading except for understanding some of the reasons people are giving for leaving the church.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Anne Brooke

    There are a number of interesting ideas here, but it felt too much anchored into its American culture to be truly useful in other countries. The first half is better, however.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Sue

    This is a practical guide to living life as a Christian without belonging to any recognised church or attending Sunday services. Part one is perhaps the most useful part, with the title ‘The big shift - from Going to Being’. The point is made that we are the church, and the author charts her own former commitment to traditional church life as well as her later 'non-going', as she phrases it. She also notes that increasing numbers of people in the 21st century are leaving established churches, for This is a practical guide to living life as a Christian without belonging to any recognised church or attending Sunday services. Part one is perhaps the most useful part, with the title ‘The big shift - from Going to Being’. The point is made that we are the church, and the author charts her own former commitment to traditional church life as well as her later 'non-going', as she phrases it. She also notes that increasing numbers of people in the 21st century are leaving established churches, for a variety of reasons, yet not abandoning their faith. The rest of the book looks at different expressions of faith as seen in a variety of communities and groups around the United States, with many examples of how faith plays out in practice. It's good to know that there are so many alternatives, although by the end I was skimming as they began to feel too similar. Well written with a good pace, and excellent in dispelling the myth that Sunday morning services are a requirement for being followers of Jesus.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Spaz tastic!!

    Let me begin by saying I am a "Non-Goer", have been for awhile now after growing up in what people these days unbiblically call "Church". It seemed that Kelly meant well in writing her book here about reaching out to those who choose not to participate in what many today call, "Going to Church" each week. I found the first few chapters to have some information that I highlighted and will go back and use at a later date. As I ventured further into the book I had discovered that the rest of the bo Let me begin by saying I am a "Non-Goer", have been for awhile now after growing up in what people these days unbiblically call "Church". It seemed that Kelly meant well in writing her book here about reaching out to those who choose not to participate in what many today call, "Going to Church" each week. I found the first few chapters to have some information that I highlighted and will go back and use at a later date. As I ventured further into the book I had discovered that the rest of the book seemed to come across as just testimonies of other people who were also considered "non-goers" as well and what they do to cope in not attending what many call "Going to Church". There's nothing wrong at all with her method here, some stories I found uplifting but after awhile the book FOR ME, personally (maybe not for others, just FOR ME) became a bit boring. No new stuff that I hadn't personally thought of or heard before, nothing of bang value FOR ME. Though the testimonies/stories were uplifting and encouraging. I read only halfway through Chapter 7 (Page 108 of 232) and then thought, "o.k. this was a nice read, time to go to something else" Again I don't want to downplay what Kelly wrote because who knows it may minister to or possibly encourage others just as well. I will say there are a lot of helpful tips/ideas that maybe many haven't heard of and who consider themselves to be a non-goer also.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Adrian

    First of all I don't like the title. For me I have always answered when people ask me "do you go to church" "You can't do that". You can only be church, sure you can meet with others of church but you can go to church its like saying I am going to me! I guess Constantine is to blame, as probably until then 'church' buildings just did not exist. Having said that I think the book is very useful. I meet, in the Uk 100'S of people in the UK who would in the words of Kelly Bean call them selves 'non First of all I don't like the title. For me I have always answered when people ask me "do you go to church" "You can't do that". You can only be church, sure you can meet with others of church but you can go to church its like saying I am going to me! I guess Constantine is to blame, as probably until then 'church' buildings just did not exist. Having said that I think the book is very useful. I meet, in the Uk 100'S of people in the UK who would in the words of Kelly Bean call them selves 'non goers' and I understand some of them, for many their closeness to the God who is there has crashed, probably because they were related to an institution rather than the reality of a God relationship. I do like Kelly's phrase of 'intentional communities' that is helpful. In fact I think much of the book is helpful, even if the strong American culture from which it is written also comes over, so found myself having to translate the culture somewhat. I do think this is what I would call a journey book, and I think Kelly Bean might agree, not there yet but on the way and there are some very helpful things that Kelly has presented for this exciting journey.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Rebecca

    Many of her concerns with the church are legitimate, but a lot of them are purely selfish and consumerist ("this isn't working for me"). Leaving a church should be the last resort after attempting to correct the unhealthy practices within the church in a loving manner and stirring up the rest of the church members to do the same. Reconciliation and restoration of the church should be the first goal. Furthermore, once you do end up having to leave a church, you should be connecting back into anot Many of her concerns with the church are legitimate, but a lot of them are purely selfish and consumerist ("this isn't working for me"). Leaving a church should be the last resort after attempting to correct the unhealthy practices within the church in a loving manner and stirring up the rest of the church members to do the same. Reconciliation and restoration of the church should be the first goal. Furthermore, once you do end up having to leave a church, you should be connecting back into another one. Membership is biblical. Bean essentially knows this, too. She didn't actually leave the church as the title makes it sound; she just left one church and started her own.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Debbie

    I really enjoyed this book. It gave me a lot of food for thought and offered plenty of examples of people being the church without belonging to an organized church. Many of the stories were inspiring and showed the benefits of people supporting each other. I especially appreciated the author's honesty about the difficulties of being part of a home church or alternative community. She also showed a respect and appreciation for the organized church, flawed as it is, and sees potential for renewal I really enjoyed this book. It gave me a lot of food for thought and offered plenty of examples of people being the church without belonging to an organized church. Many of the stories were inspiring and showed the benefits of people supporting each other. I especially appreciated the author's honesty about the difficulties of being part of a home church or alternative community. She also showed a respect and appreciation for the organized church, flawed as it is, and sees potential for renewal both through those who leave and those who stay in the organized church.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Nichole

    I read this book, recommended by a friend, despite the title. I was impressed by the stories that provided significant proof that there are many non-goers who love God and people and deepening their relationship with God. The conclusion and epilogue gently encourage non-goers and goers to continue to pursue God while welcoming those that have questions.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Denis

    This is very much a "how to" book, giving all sorts of suggestions for how to fill the roles provided by church attendance, without actually attending. It contains many practical suggestions with plenty of examples.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Andrew

  20. 4 out of 5

    Ed

  21. 4 out of 5

    Jim Gordon

  22. 5 out of 5

    Nancy

  23. 5 out of 5

    David Smith

  24. 4 out of 5

    Denise Reese

  25. 4 out of 5

    Tate Haraway

  26. 4 out of 5

    Rick Elliott

  27. 4 out of 5

    Michael

  28. 4 out of 5

    Chip Borgstadt

  29. 5 out of 5

    Allison

  30. 4 out of 5

    Aurora Grace

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